“A relationship needs constant attention. It’s a living thing, not just a habit. You’ve got to keep on top of it.”

“All I'm saying is, where relationships are concerned, don't confuse length with strength.”

“Because that's what unfaithfulness is, isn't it? A cancer that's always there in the back of your mind, eating away at the foundations of the relationship.”

“Look at your eyes. You've got bigger bags than Louis Vuitton.”

“When someone loves you, there's nothing they won't do for you. When they stop loving you, there's nothing they will.”

“All a woman actually wants is to feel special.”

“Dan, rabbits who've been fed oysters laced with Viagra don't like sex as much as you do.”