“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.”

“Your lyrics lack subtlety! You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!”

“No matter how good you are at something there's always about a million people better than you.”

“Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same."--Reverend Lovejoy”

“Lisa, I apologize to you, I was wrong, I take it all back. Always be yourself. If you want to be sad, honey, be sad. We’ll ride it out with you. And when you get finished feeling sad, we’ll still be there. From now on, let me do the smiling for both of us.”

“Did you hear something?""No.""Did I hear something?""...I don't know...”

“Living creatively is really important to maintain throughout your life. And living creatively doesn't mean only artistic creativity, although that's part of it. It means being yourself, not just complying with the wishes of other people.”