“Some people talk like a fish with a paper asshole; whatever they say just doesn't hold water.”

“You don't know what a bad day is until you wake up after a three-day drunk and find out a trap spider built its nest in your asshole.”

“If you don't like the smell of Christmas trees, get the hula girls; they smell like coconuts.”

“Some days it just feels like I'm here for the shoes and the eternal hope that I shall be issued minions.”

“Living creatively is really important to maintain throughout your life. And living creatively doesn't mean only artistic creativity, although that's part of it. It means being yourself, not just complying with the wishes of other people.”

“When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!" (Homer Simpson)”

“And just because a talking donkey tells you something doesn’t mean it’s true.”