“Someday an opportunity will come. Think about Harry Potter. His life is terrible, but then a letter arrives, he gets on a train, and everything is different for him afterward. Better. Magical.""That's just a story.""So are we- we're stories too.”

“I have to admit that Emily is a cute kid, and I instantly understand why Ronnie has written me so many letters about his daughter-why he loves her so much. I start to think about having children with Nikki someday and I become so happy that I give little Emily a kiss on the forehead, as if she were Nikki's baby and I was her father. And then I kiss Emily's forehead again and again, until she giggles.”

“I will not be quoting Hemingway anytime soon, nor will I ever read another one of his books.And if he were still alive, I would write him a letter right now and threaten to strangle him dead with my bare hands just for being so glum.No wonder he put a gun to his head, like it says in the introductory essay.”

“Why did You give us so many stories about miracles? Why did Yousend Your Son down from heaven? Why did You give us movies if life doesn’t ever end well?What kind of fucking God are You? Do You want me to be miserable for the rest of my life?”

“I think all it really takes for different people to get along is a common rooting interest and a few beers.”

“When I read the actual story-how Gatsby loves Daisy so much but can't ever be with her no matter how hard he tries-I feel like ripping the book in half and calling up Fitzgerald and telling him his book is all wrong, even though I know Fitzgerald is probably deceased. Especially when Gatsby is shot dead in his swimming pool the first time he goes for a swim all summer, Daisy doesn't even go to his funeral, Nick and Jordan part ways, and Daisy ends up sticking with racist Tom, whose need for sex basically murders an innocent woman, you can tell Fitzgerald never took the time to look up at clouds during sunset, because there's no silver lining at the end of that book, let me tell you.”

“I’m a screwed-up person who no longerknows how to communicate with the people I love. But I meant everything I told you inmy letter. If I were your Nikki, I would have come back to you on Christmas Day, butI’m not Nikki. I know. And I’m sorry.”