“You’re allowed to believe in a god. You’re allowed to believe unicorns live in your shoes for all I care. But the day you start telling me how to wear my shoes so I don’t upset the unicorns, I have a problem with you. The day you start involving the unicorns in making decisions for this country, I have a BIG problem with you.”

“The minute you start talking about what you’re going to do if you lose, you have lost.”

“Do you know, I always thought unicorns were fabulous monsters, too? I never saw one alive before!"Well, now that we have seen each other," said the unicorn, "if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you.”

“Oh, come on, Ash, that smells like a unicorn fart.”

“Now I will believe that there are unicorns...”

“She just shook her head and pulled out a small bottle of some random pop star's signature perfume, spritzing me with the sickly-sweet smell. "Oh, come on Ash, that smells like a unicorn fart," I cried, recoiling at the overpowering, candylike smell.”

“The sad truth is, if you push hard enough, and if you’re so stubborn that you must have things your way, God will sometimes allow you to undertake a project without His blessing or at the wrong time. The problem with that, of course, is when you start something in your own strength and in your own timing, you’re going to have to finish it and maintain it in your own strength.”