“And what else is she?" Jerome asked. Jazza didn't offer any reply so I chimed in with, "A bitchweasel?""A bitchweasel!" Jazza's face lit up. "She's a bitchweasel! I love my new roommate.”

“Rory: "People are being serious."Jazza: "There's a serial killer out there. Of course people are being serious."Rory: "Yeah, but what are the chances?"Jazza: "I bet all of the victims thought that."Rory: "But still, what are the chances?"Jazza: "Well, I imagine they are several million to one."Jerome: "Not that high. You're only dealing with a small part of London. And while there might be a million or more people in that area, the Ripper is probably focusing on women, because all of the original victims were women. So halve that--"Jazza: "You really need another hobby.”

“What are you?" I asked."I'm the Ghost of the Night Before Exams.""And how long did it take you to come up with that?" Jazza asked."I'm a busy man," he replied.”

“He's been in love with Miss Gina since high school, but he doesn't really know how to talk to girls, so he's just been...staying around her since then. He just tends to go where she goes.""Isn't that stalking?" Jazza said."Legally, no," I replied. "I asked my parents this when I was little. What he does is creepy and socially awkward, but it's not actually stalking.”

“The kidney was removed with great skill. We have an image of the kidney taken from that broadcast. Viewers are advised that the following image is quite graphic, and-""I am getting so sick of looking at this kidney," I said."It's a farce," Jazza replied. "They act like they're shocked and horrified, and then they show it off twenty times a day.""Have you seen the singing kidney video?" I asked."Ugh. No.""It's really funny. You should watch it.”

“You don't know me yet," I said."Rory was telling me she lives in a swamp," Charlotte said."That's right," I said, turning up my accent a little. "These are the very first shoes I've ever owned. They sure do pinch my feet."Jerome gave a little snort.”

“With that, I splashed some water on my face, fixed on a smile, and stepped out. I would find Jerome. I would make him explain to me what I was missing. We would laugh, then we would kiss with tongue, and all would be well.”