“Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.”
“Every time that boy smiles, somewhere a puppy died.”
“Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don't drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor's yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper.”
“That’s the spirit. Now the next time you say it, say it without looking like your puppy just died.”
“She moved to pinch me again but I blocked her hand. I'm no expert on girls, but when one tries to pinch you four times, I'm pretty sure that's flirting.”
“For every puppy or kitten your pet gives birth to, one dies in the shelter for lack of a home... Spay/Neuter.”