“The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs.”

“Maybe you've never fallen into a frozen stream. Here's what happens.1. It is cold. So cold that the Department of Temperature Acknowledgment and Regulation in you brain gets the readings and says, "I can't deal with this. I'm out of here." It puts up the OUT TO LUNCH sign and passes all responsibility to the...2. Department of Pain and the Processing Thereof, which gets all this gobbledygook from the temperature department that it can't understand. "This is so not our job," it says. So it just starts hitting random buttons, filling you with strange and unpleasant sensations, and calls the...3. Office of Confusion and Panic, where there is always someone ready to hop on the phone the moment it rings. This office is at least willing to take some action. The Office of Confusion and Panic loves hitting buttons.”

“The kidney was removed with great skill. We have an image of the kidney taken from that broadcast. Viewers are advised that the following image is quite graphic, and-""I am getting so sick of looking at this kidney," I said."It's a farce," Jazza replied. "They act like they're shocked and horrified, and then they show it off twenty times a day.""Have you seen the singing kidney video?" I asked."Ugh. No.""It's really funny. You should watch it.”

“It was fine," I said stiffly. "We played Mouse Trap.""Is that what they're calling it these days?" she asked, throwing me a terrible grin. "I have to go give Rachel a quick bath. Feel free to make yourself some cocoa or whatever you like!" She stopped short of adding "...future child-bride of my only son.”

“It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.”

“I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.”

“Keep calm and carry on. Also, stay in and hide because the Ripper is coming.”