“The kidney was removed with great skill. We have an image of the kidney taken from that broadcast. Viewers are advised that the following image is quite graphic, and-""I am getting so sick of looking at this kidney," I said."It's a farce," Jazza replied. "They act like they're shocked and horrified, and then they show it off twenty times a day.""Have you seen the singing kidney video?" I asked."Ugh. No.""It's really funny. You should watch it.”

“And what else is she?" Jerome asked. Jazza didn't offer any reply so I chimed in with, "A bitchweasel?""A bitchweasel!" Jazza's face lit up. "She's a bitchweasel! I love my new roommate.”

“What are you?" I asked."I'm the Ghost of the Night Before Exams.""And how long did it take you to come up with that?" Jazza asked."I'm a busy man," he replied.”

“He's been in love with Miss Gina since high school, but he doesn't really know how to talk to girls, so he's just been...staying around her since then. He just tends to go where she goes.""Isn't that stalking?" Jazza said."Legally, no," I replied. "I asked my parents this when I was little. What he does is creepy and socially awkward, but it's not actually stalking.”

“You should really, like, dump her and date me instead,' May heard herself saying, all confidence. 'I'm not as irritating. I mean, I'm irritating, but I'm not as bad as she is. And you know me better. Wouldn't that be funny? I mean, we've already hooked up, so we're good.'We broke up,' Pete said quickly. His voice was so bright that May could hear the smile coming through. For a moment she was confused.Who, you and me?'No. Nell and i.'Oh . . .'The meter in her brain clicked once or twice, signaling May that she'd probably said enough.I have to go,' she said suddenly. 'Okay? I think that's great. Cool. Okay. Gotta go now. Hey, Pete, I love you!”

“I looked at the stained-glass image of the lamb in the window above me, but that only reminded me that lambs are famous for being led to slaughter, or sometimes hanging out with lions in ill-advised relationships.”

“It was fine," I said stiffly. "We played Mouse Trap.""Is that what they're calling it these days?" she asked, throwing me a terrible grin. "I have to go give Rachel a quick bath. Feel free to make yourself some cocoa or whatever you like!" She stopped short of adding "...future child-bride of my only son.”