“There is nothing about a bad situation that fourteen hyper cheerleaders can't worsen.”

“It wasn't ass-screaming Beaker, though. It was fourteen girls in matching, form fitting sweats, all of which read RIDGE CHEERLEADING on the butt. (A form of ass-screaming, I suppose.) Each had her name on the back of her sleek warm-up fleece. They clustered around the snack bar, yelling at the top of their lungs. I really hoped and prayed that they wouldn't all say "Oh my God!" at once, but my prayers were not heard, maybe because God was busy listening to all of them.”

“Do you ever sing in the car?""Generally not. But I am driving a police car.""I think people would like a singing policeman. Makes life seem more like a musical. Like Foot-tastic.""You can talk for a long time about nothing.""I certainly can, you charming man!”

“Nothing was quite like it was supposed to be. ”

“The day was ridiculous.In fact, the situation was so serious I thought they had to be joking - like maybe they staged a special first day to psych people out. I had one class in the morning, the mysteriously named "Further Maths." It was two hours long and so deeply frightening that I think I went into a trance.”

“Did I just kill someone?""You can't kill a dead person," Callum said. "Makes no sense.”

“There is no normal. I've never met a normal person. The concept is flawed. It implies that there is only one way people are supposed to be, and that can't possible be true. Human experience is far too varied.”