“This wasn't a position she wanted to be in. And yet . . . yet she knew that she was going to do it anyway.”

“She wasn't only gay, she was a gay elf.”

“The truth was that she had managed to betray everyone by doing nothing. No one in history had ever done less and yet been so wrong. Not cheating on a non-boyfriend with the non-boyfriend of a friend. The pressure of thinking that one through made her swollen body ache.”

“You don't know me yet," I said."Rory was telling me she lives in a swamp," Charlotte said."That's right," I said, turning up my accent a little. "These are the very first shoes I've ever owned. They sure do pinch my feet."Jerome gave a little snort.”

“Were you playing with Stuart?" she asked.The question was loaded. I was a filthy, filthy woman, and even the five-year-old knew it.”

“Charlotte, dressed in a very short-skirted policewoman's outfit, was leading a dancing brigade, jumping around at the front of the room, her long red hair flapping up and down like a matador's cape. She was head girl, and she would shows us how to party if she had to.I wasn't really sure why Charlotte had decided to come to the party as a stripper. I found myself at a loss for words as she complimented us on our costumes."You're a..." I tried to find the right thing to say. "Really...hot cop?""I'm Amy Pond," she said. "From Doctor Who. This is her kissogram outfit.”

“Want to make it a date, haircut?' she asked. 'As soon as I can scrape together the cash for the train ticket?'What's with the "haircut," kiddo?' he asked. 'I thought we were past that.'We'll never be past that,' she said.”