“Why are Americans so fascinated by Ireland?” Keith asked... “you all think you’re Irish. What’s the appeal? Do you like the accent more? Is it all the magical rocks? Oh, look, a lep­rechaun...”

“Who runs a combination cat shelter and hostel?" Keith asked. "With the cat shelter being the primary function? Only people who want to kill you with an axe and then put you in the garden and build a shed on you, that's who.”

“You want to play?" Ellis yelled. "All right, then! I played a lot of video games as a kid, bitches!""There!" Oliver yelled. "That way! Toward Boulevard Périphérique. There! There!"The car swerved abruptly to the right. Ginny heard Keith swear for a solid ten seconds.”

“Do you ever sing in the car?""Generally not. But I am driving a police car.""I think people would like a singing policeman. Makes life seem more like a musical. Like Foot-tastic.""You can talk for a long time about nothing.""I certainly can, you charming man!”

“Top Trumps appeared to be a game in which you got cards, and the cards had a picture (in this case, of a horse), and told you all kinds of stats for that horse, how fast it was, how big it was, etc. Whoever had the better horse won both the cards. You repeated this until someone had all the cards. So, basically it was exactly like high school, except it only took three minutes. Which was really a bit more humane, if you thought about it.”

“Some other facts I picked up:Welsh is an actual, currently used language and our next-door neighbours Angela and Gaenor spoke it. It sounds like Wizard.Baked beans are very popular in England. For breakfast. On toast. On baked potatoes. They can't get enough."American History" is not a subject everywhere.England and Britain and the United Kingdom are not the same thing. England is the country. Britain is the island containing England, Scotland, and Wales. The United Kingdom is the formal designation of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland as a political entity. If you mess this up, you will be corrected. Repeatedly.”

“I don't know if there is actually more rain here in England, or if it was just that the rain seemed to be so deliberately annoying. Every drop hit the window with a peevish "Am I bothering you? Does this make you cold and wet? Oh, sorry.”