“Often, a school is your best bet-perhaps not for education but certainly for protection from an undead attack.”

“During the Qin Dynasty, all books not relating to practical concernssuch as agriculture or construction were ordered burned by theemperor to guard against "dangerous thought." Whether accounts ofzombie attacks perished in the flames will never be known. Thisobscure section of a medical manuscript, preserved in the wall of anexecuted Chinese scholar, might be proof of such attacks.”

“The monkey didn't help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, 'This is the turning point of the war! We've finally stopped them! We're finally safe!' But instead his little penis popped out and he peed in my face.”

“1. Organize before they rise!2. They feel no fear, why should you?3. Use your head: cut off theirs.4. Blades don't need reloading.5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!9. No place is safe, only safer.10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.”

“And then you got us. Yeah, we stopped the zombie menace, but we're the ones who let it become a menace in the first place. At least we're cleaning up our own mess, and maybe that's the best epitaph to hope for. "Generation Z, they cleaned up their own mess.”

“After all we'd been through, we still couldn't take our heads from out of our asses or our hands from around each other's throats.”

“If your Soviet neighbor is trying to set fire to your house, you can't be worrying about the Arab down the block. If suddenly it's the Arab in your backyard , you can't be worrying about the People's Republic of China and if one day the ChiComs show up at your front door with an eviction notice in one hand and a Molotov cocktail in the other, then the last thing you're going do is look over his shoulder for a walking corpse.”