“Unfortunately, in America, babies are not found in cola cans. I asked my mother when I was four, and she said they came from eggs laid by rabbis. If you aren't Jewish, they're laid by Catholic nuns. If you're an atheist, they're laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes.”

“One of us needs to get laid.""Just one of us?""What are the odds of both of us getting laid?”

“Throughout the day, Stargirl had been dropping money. She was the Johnny Appleseed of loose change: a penny here, a nickel there. Tossed to the sidewalk, laid on a shelf or bench. Even quarters. "I hate change," she said. "It's so . . . jangly.""Do you realize how much you must throw away in a year?" I said."Did you ever see a little kid's face when he spots a penny on a sidewalk?”

“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.”

“This is, I believe, what happens when people take their own lives. They're not killing themselves, they're killing the world. Either to spare it pain or to cause it some, depending.”

“I used to hate boys... I grew up... Things changed. Now I hate men.”

“If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.”