“What I'd like is to meet a man I could take off my hat to and say: "Thank you for having got born, and the longer you live the better.”

“What could I say? Noah, despite you being an asshole, or maybe because of it, I'd like to rip off your clothes and have your babies.”

“What got you into trouble?" says the baldhead to t'other chap."Well, I'd been selling an article to take the tartar off the teeth—and it does take it off, too, and generly the enamel along with it—”

“I could have done even better, miss, and I'd know a lot more, if it wasn't for my destiny ever since childhood. I'd have killed a man in a duel with a pistol for calling me low-born, because I came from Stinking Lizaveta without a father, and they were shoving that in my face in Moscow. It spread there thanks to Grigory Vasilievich. Grigory Vasilievich reproaches me for rebelling against my nativity: 'You opened her matrix,' he says. I don't know about her matrix, but I'd have let them kill me in the womb, so as not to come out into the world at all, miss.”

“Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...But is it? Is it really better to know a thing you love only to lose it?If I'd known then what I know now...But that's the thing, isn't it? When you're living a thing...you don't know. You take it for granted, like a dog being petted, assuming it will somehow go on forever.If I'd known what I know now...I'd have touched everything in sight, everything I could get my hands on. I'd have grabbed the nearest girl I could find and not even caring how crazy she thought me, touched my hands to her face just to know what that feels like.Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?I, never having loved before, have no real answer to that question.”

“I take my hat off to you — or I would, if I were not afraid of showering you in spiders.”