“So...what? Skipping detention is a crime?”

“Skipping school isn't a crime. It's an infraction. They're totally different.”

“When Filch wasn't guarding the scene of the crime, he was skulking red-eyed through the corridors, lunging out at unsuspecting students and trying to put them in detention for things like "breathing loudly" and "looking happy.”

“Vat have you been up to, Governor?' Skip asked with an Arnold Swarzenegger accent.The relentless pursuit of crime,' John said. He pronounced crime with a long southern drawl and a wink. Then he burst into laugher with the rest of them.Seeing him jogging at the park had cracked a window so I could peek into his soul. Seeing him with his friends threw the window wide open.He was so nineteen.”

“Detention turned out to be code for slavery.”

“Present company excluded, this looked to be the most pleasant detention ever experienced by mankind. Further proof that librarians should run the world-or a least be in charge of detention at Bathory High.”