“And I had forgotten to get more Sweet’N Low, so I had to drink coffee as bitter as I am.”

“I told the waitress I wanted some coffee. She asked if I wanted leaded of unleaded, so I had to leave the restaurant, because I quit drinking gasoline years ago.”

“I'll let you in on a secret. I don't drink coffee."I genuinely gasped in horror. "The devil you say. Java is the nectar of the gods. I don't know if I can be with a man who doesn't drink coffee." I knew there was something sinister about him. I had no idea it would be that bad.”

“I recognized everything, the waterfall and the lakes, the trees and paths. But they had forgotten me. That was bitter and I cried a lot. One should never return to sacred places.”

“My coffee gets increasingly better the more I drink and the closer I come to the bottom of the cup, where all the sugar is. I wonder if life is the same way as we approach the end.”

“I never said I liked coffee better than sex. I said I'd had it more.”