“Oh, please, Mr. B thinks, not a human. Not another human. He is filled with despair. God's passion for humans always leads to catastrophe, to meteorological upset on an epic scale. What is wrong with the boy that he can't get it up for some nice goddess? Why, oh why, can't he pursue a sensible relationship, one that will not end in disaster?”

“This squirrel is inadequately afraid of humans! Squirrel, I am a threat to you! We are enemies! Please get off my bench! Oh, god! Oh, god! Don't touch me—oh, god!”

“Oh, terrific," Dan muttered. "Just what we need. Another code! Why can't people just say what they mean? Why can't they say THE MAP IS IN THE DESK?”

“[...] "boy meets the girl, they fall in love but - oh - they can't possibly be together because of some terrible but really very easy-to-resolve misunderstanding" plots that always ended happily ever after with a passionate kiss and/or a wedding [...]”

“Ariel: "Why do such stories always sound so sad? Why can't people part on more amiable terms?"Danny: "Human nature," he said. "When feelings change and a person is at their most insecure, it's a matter of personal survival, I think. It's not always meant to hurt, but it often does.”

“Cupid, you worthless bastard, I summon you to human form! (Julian)Gee, I can't imagine why he wouldn't respond to that. (Grace)”