“i want to interrupt a game of magic the gathering by busting through a wall on a motorcycle”

“i want to fall backwards into a pit of bioluminescent pokémon”

“i want to go to the gymand pretend the weight machines are drumsand play the longest drum solo on them”

“i want to pull very long, multi-colored strings out of my brain and place them next to a bowl of doritos at a party”

“If someone asks me where I bought something I’m wearing, I will usually say I don’t remember.”

“For about four years, I’ve been telling people I hate sour cream. One time I sent back nachos because they had sour cream on them. I started saying this because a friend I admire hates sour cream. I told him I hated it too so we could have a funny thing in common.”

“i wish i had 15-20 cats that would serve as a blanket, like if i moved they would adjust to my new position, that would be good”