“Something was comforting about strangers—it seemed like they would exist forever as the same, unknowable mass.”

“i had a dream that there were these huge indoor swimming pools called 'lobbies' that poor people used to do mass amounts of laundry”

“Feel completely unable to do anything. Try to picture your life in five years. It really seems like you will be dead.”

“i wish i had 15-20 cats that would serve as a blanket, like if i moved they would adjust to my new position, that would be good”

“If someone asks me where I bought something I’m wearing, I will usually say I don’t remember.”

“Anne has small superstitions which she uses to dispel anxieties. For instance, if she can make it to the fourth stain on the carpet by the time the elevator door closes, that means Nate has thought positively about her today, and there is a future where they know each other. It becomes a one-sided competition when a negative consequence is imagined: if she cannot touch two different kinds of tile with her feet by the time the toilet flushes, that means she said something crucially “wrong” in an email, and Nate will never contact her again. She doesn't keep track of which side is winning.”

“A 5’5”, 182-pound, 43-year-old man wearing khaki shorts and a UCLA sweatshirt runs to Nicolas Cage in a manner he will spend the rest of the night describing to his slightly bored but equally boring date as “ambushing.” No one else is on the street and Nicolas Cage is unable to avoid the man, who wants a picture with his “brand new Droid.” As the man, who actually seems to be vibrating and hovering in an almost hummingbird-like way, adjusts his stance for the third attempt at a picture his crotch lightly brushes Nicolas Cage’s upper thigh, causing his face to shift from “bemused resignation” to, strangely, “serene bliss,” for what will become the man’s inaugural Facebook profile picture.”