“Angie breathed deeply, then turned ten shades of puce. “Aren’t you guys dead? Why are you still able to fart?” I laughed at her. “What are you talking about?”“It seriously stinks in here, and it wasn’t that bad a minute ago.”“I didn’t fart,” I said defensively.“And if I farted, you’d be dead,” finished Ethan.”

“I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.”

“Why was he smiling? Oh crap, I had drooled on him. Or maybe farted? Please, anything but a fart!”

“I fart, you fart, he farts, she farts.Let’s not deny it, people. Farting is a regular, healthy, and hilarious part of life. Squeezing out big plumes of noxious gas doesn’t always smell good, but it generally feels might fine.”

“No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!”

“I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.”