“Brandi is mean skinny, that kind that doesn't come naturally and makes her face look all hallow and scary.”

“That's what all love comes down to, doesn't it? We help others only as much as they let us.”

“Unless Spelling Bee bitches exist, this makes her the geekiest kind of groupie on e can possibly be.”

“All subjects are the same. I memorize notes for a test, spew it, ace it, then forget it. What makes this scary for the future of our country is that I'm in the tip-top percentile on every standardized test. I'm a model student with a very crappy attitude about learning.”

“We’re your friends,” said Bridget.“And we’re worried about you,”said Pepe.“I’m fine.” Then I mean to laugh a silly, carefree kind of laugh, but it came out more maniacal than intended. “HAH-hee-hee-hah-hah-HAH!”Bridget and Pepe exchanged terrified looks.”

“The stories teach them valuable life lessons. That good things happen to bad people. That it’s possible to make a bad situation even worse if you don’t think it through. That parents are clueless except when they’re not. That it’s good to try new things even when a new thing is kind of disgusting, because new experiences make you a well-rounded person. That art can be transcendent. That lust is all-powerful, that drugs are fun, and that not everyone who does them is a loser. That losing people is part of life. That where comedy goes, tragedy isn’t far behind. That everyone has issues with their bodies, but some take it too far, almost to death. That fear can be exhilarating. That boys are assholes. That it’s important to look forward and never look back…”

“We're all people", he said simply. "It doesn't matter if you're two, thirty-two, or ninety-two. Everyone wants to be treated with respect. Everyone wants to feel like they matter in this world.”