“Hornergy' is Zen's term for the indomitable athletic edge powered by sexual restraint. The basketball, baseball and football teams haven't had a winning season in years. The table-tennis team, however, is undefeated.”
“Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? ”
“When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team. ”
“Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins.”
“It is the nature of being the general manager of a baseball team that you have to remain on familiar terms with people you are continually trying to screw.”
“In football everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.”