“I’m living with K-Fed’s retarded half brotha/sista.”

“I’m not sure I’ll ever be finished. No matter how much I write, there will always be something I should’ve said.”

“Call me Mac," he said.Mackadocious is more like it."For the next month, I will be your writing instructor..." Lip Macking Good. "It was Alfred, Lord Tennyson, who said, 'Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the Soul within...'" Big Mac Attack."Here, in the next five weeks, I hope you do more revealing than concealing..."Oh, I'll reveal more than that if you want me to, Mac Daddy.”

“Most people talk when they have nothing to say. I’m not talking because I have too much to say. None of which I’d want you to hear.”

“I am fluent in snark.Bethany only notices snark when snark grabs her off the sidewalk, throws her in the back of a sketchy van with tinted windows, drives to the middle of the Meadow-lands in the dead of night, and uses a heavy blunt instrumentto smack her repeatedly about the head as it screams, “I’M SNARK. DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? I’M SNARKY SNARKY SNARK!” And even then she’s like, “Ohhhh? Snark? Is that you?”

“This confirms it: I am living with Beavis and sluthead.”

“Every day, I live a lieBut not the crocodile kind.”