“As I work with people who are new to being present with the dying, I ask them to remember two things. (1)Stepping back from the physical and medical concerns of the patient, we must now focus on the spiritual. Dying is more than the physical body shutting down, although that is certainly the primary view in our society. The body will take charge on its own. The spiritual reality will not. Sacred dying means bringing the spiritual experience to the forefront. Deal with spiritual things, whatever they may be, first and foremost. (2) The sacred dying experience is for the person dying - all rituals and observances are for him or her. This does not mean that the loved ones and their profound feelings of loss and sadness do not count or should not be a part of the rituals. It means, rather, that the grievers will have time later to mourn and honor their feelings of loss. Loved ones must try to respect the experience of dying, and even if they need to sacrifice their own feelings for the time being, they must try to focus 100 percent on the person who is dying.”

“There is a moment when the body is about to cease its natural functions, when it is important to accept that death is happening and to begin to let go, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I have learned the signs when something is preventing this from happening. Perhaps the family or friends cannot accept that the loved one is dying. Perhaps there are some things the dying person has not reconciled - inside herself or with other people. Often there is fear of the physical act of dying.”

“We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.”

“Sacred dying rituals are primarily and notably for the person dying. It takes great strength and courage to face death and to begin to move through it to the other side. And it takes great courage for the survivors to put aside their own fears and anxieties to help their loved ones die a peaceful death.”

“The shape does not change: there was a human being who was born, lived and then, by some means or another, died. There. You may fill in the details from your own experience.”

“Death is a long process," Archer says. "Your body is just the first part of you that croaks." Meaning: Beyond that, your dreams have to die. Then your expectations. And your anger about investing a lifetime in learning shit and loving people and earning money, only to have all that crap come to basically nothing. Really, your physical body dying is the easy part. Beyond that, your memories must die. And your ego. Your pride and shame and ambition and hope, all that Personal Identity Crap can take centuries to expire.”