“Whenever I watch a documentary about the space, I find the news in the world very funny and dull!”

“I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right.”

“Silence, please? I'm trying to watch this documentary." Laurel nodded at The Bachelor. "I believe one of the females is about to present to the alpha.”

“I flopped on the overstuffed kitchen couch and watched him go. I wondered what would happen to all his films and photographs in the upstairs closet - the documentaries on homelessness and drug addiction, the funny short subjects, the half-finished romantic comedy, the boxes of slice-of-life photographs that spoke volumes about the human condition. I wondered how you stop caring about what you've ached over, sweated over. (Thwonk)”

“(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.”

“Whenever I find myself in the cellar of affliction, I always look about for the wine.”