“Tragedy is when I stub my toe. Comedy is when you fall into an open manhole and die.”
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”
“I shall claim full amends for every fall and stubbed toe, if you do not lead us well.”
“Watch where you leave your victims! I stubbed my toe on that.”
“I went for a walk and I stubbed my big toe. And my erection.”
“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.”