“I just don't trust people who have bodies that change with their moods.Well then you'll never trust the opposite sex again.”

“I've said it before and I'll say it again: Never trust anyone who tells you how people come to trust him”

“To me, the most important rules in life are:1. Never trust people you love.2. Never trust people you don't love.3. Never trust people at all.”

“Derek, you just don't say things like that to a woman. Keep going this way and you'll spend your life alone.""Don't change the subject. Andrea is cool. And she smells nice. It will be okay."Apparently I was supposed to sniff people to determine their competence. "How do you know?"He shrugged. "You just have to trust her.”

“There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.”

“Never trust anyone who doesn't smoke pot or listen to Dylan. Never trust anyone who doesn't like the beach. And NEVER ever, EVER, EVER trust anyone who says they don't like dogs!”