“You shy, Francesca?” Javier asks me later on.I shake my head. “Not really.” I’m just sad, I want to say. And I’m lonely.”

“Aren’t you going to ask me if I’m all right?” I say.“No, I’m pretty sure you’re not all right.”He shakes his head. “I’m going to ask you not to make any decisions until we’ve talkedabout it.”

“I’m not asking you to love me. I’m asking you to let me love you. I’m fine if you never say it. I just want you, Madison.”

“Sometimes I want to clean up my desk and go out and say, “Respect me; I’m a respectable grown-up!" and other times I just want to jump into a paper bag and shake and bake myself to death.”

“Let’s get drunk,” I state, clinking my glass with his.“Sure you want to do that?” Dorian says with a raised eyebrow. He gives me that look a lot, probably because of all my questionable behavior. “I’m not sure of anything anymore,” I say with a cynical chuckle. “But I know I’m tired of disappointment. And I’m tired of keeping secrets. And I’m tired of fucking things up!”Dorian nods, understanding my frustration. “Do you want me to help you?” he asks quietly. I know what he means. Dorian is offering to fix me like he did the day before.“No,” I shake my head. “I want you to drink with me. Then I want you to do things to me that are as dirty and immoral as I already feel.” I take another hefty gulp and let the searing burn strip away the guilt and shame in my chest. “Ok, let’s get drunk.” And with that Dorian downs the entire contents of his glass and turns on the music.”

“Why are you here?” Lucy asks incredulously. “You didn’t say yes?” I shake my head, and my sister looks offended on behalf of the entire female species. “I’m sorry to say this, Elise,” she states, taking out a slice and biting off the end. “I think you need therapy.”