“In point of fact, most witches probably know more about liquor and how to properly drink it than many ancient and knowledgeable bartenders.”

“It is probably true that most people have more fun in bed than anywhere else, and we are not being vulgar. Even going to bed alone can be alluring. There are many times, in fact, when it's by far the most alluring way to go.”

“It is a hundred-year-old witch book, bound in human skin and probably written in ancient cum...YOU lick it!”

“Oh many a peer of England brews Livelier liquor than the Muse,And malt does more than Milton can To justify God’s ways to man.”

“The sad truth is that... many people are, in fact- stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because they are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. Some people's heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true.”

“Television characters live inside our minds as though they're actual people. In fact, we know more about them than we do about most people in our physical lives.”