“Life would be so much simpler if guys were like mood rings, and they changed color when they liked you.”

“All in all, when I look at my dating life from the bigger perspective, it pretty much sucks. If it were a bar graph, and each guy were a different colored bar, and the side of the graph measured things like stupidity, lack of consideration, and overpowering lust, the colored bars of all the guys I’ve dated would crash through the top of the graph and rocket skyward like a testosterone-fueled rainbow.”

“Hoo! You're like a giant mood ring! I wonder if I can make different colors show up depending on where i touch you- Nell Harris”

“Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.”

“I'm so much more scared of white guys than black guys. Like an angry black guys would pull out a gun and be like 'Yo, I'm coming back with my cousins and we're gonna funck you up' and a white guy would be like just 'BANG'!”

“Life would be much simpler if men could fuck themselves, don't you agree?”