“People never think things that are true are funny.”

“Even though we'd never met, imagining being dumped by Gene made me want to die. What was the point of going out with someone? What was the point of falling in love? The whole thing was enough to make me wish I'd been born in one of those countries where they still have arranged marriages. I mean, okay, yes, it would certainly suck not being allowed to drive or vote and having to ask a man's permission to leave the house.But at least you wouldn't have to worry about being dumped.”

“I'm sorry, I got you all snotty and wet.”

“...[W]hen I told my dad why I was calling, he just said, 'Honey, you're so beautiful it doesn't matter what you wear.' I wondered how many dads in America were, at that very moment, giving their daughters the same useless advice mine was giving me.”

“You were sleeping?" said Princess One."No," I said. "Sometimes I just like to lie in the dark for hours with my eyes closed.”

“Apparently, he was too busy living his own life to be a character in the imaginary novel that was mine.”

“Apparently, he was too bust living his own life to be a character in the imaginary novel that was mine.”