“I don’t often need rescuing, but it’s nice when it goes well and doesn’t involve great heights.”

“Love is always there when you don’t need it, and when you need it and it’s not there, well, that’s what hookers are for.”

“Why do all men seem to think they need to rescue a woman? Are we not capable of rescuing our damn selves? Why do I need to be rescued? I don’t need a man to rescue me, and I certainly don’t need no wallbanging, Purina-fucking, listening-at-my-wall-like-a-goddamn-psycho coming over here to rescue me! You got that, mister?”

“Charlie, don’t you get it? I can’t feel that. It’s sweet and everything, but it’s like you’re not even there sometimes. It’s great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when someone doesn’t need a shoulder? What if they need the arms or something like that? You can’t just sit there and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can’t. You have to do things.”

“The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready; it goes on because it’s 11:30.”

“The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready; it goes on because it’s 11:30.”