“If this was the date from heaven and I decided to release slutty Stephanie, I didn't want clothes on my floor or an ungroomed vagina to be my cock block”

“At that moment, I hated dating more than doing my laundry”

“don't put all your eggs in one bastard”

“Rachel? my dad prompts.Do I have to...?"His stern expression answers my questionFine. I'm grateful that the Native Americans are finally getting revenge on the white man for destroying their culture, by building megacasinos.”

“I have no doubt that the nation has suffered more from undue secrecy than from undue disclosure. The government takes good care of itself.”

“I didn't make this plan. I just wake up sometimes and want to crawl out of my life.”

“I don’t want to wake up ten years from now regretting that I let this slip through my fingers. I don’t want to waste another moment without you in my life.”