“That's just stupid," said Chuck. "Have a look around at the rest of the animal kingdom lately? I'll have sex with anyone who doesn't try to kill me.""And even then, as long as their butt smells good, I'm in," said Johnny Depp.”

“Someone's at the door! Someone's at the door!!!" they both yelled."I just told you, it's my—" I called, knowing they couldn't hear."Hey. Get away from the door, you miserable jack-off," I heard Chuck shout at my dad. "I'll rip your ass in half.""Me too! I'll rip your ass in half, too!!" yelled Johnny Depp. "We hate you. We hate you. We hate you. We hate you.""You guys, knock it off," I said, racing to open the door. "I just told you...it's my—Hi, Daddy," I said, hugging him."Come on in! Great to see you again!!" screamed Chuck."Thank God you're finally here!" screamed Johnny Depp. "We missed you. Where you been? Welcome back! Who are you??”

“This was a kingdom.(“What?” Conor said, looking around his backyard. “Here?”)(The monster cocked its head at him curiously. You have not heard of it?)(“Not a kingdom around here, no,” Conor said. “We don’t even have a McDonald’s.”)”

“Has anyone ever told you," I said, "that you coalesce reality?""No. They only say that I'm good in the sack.""They are accurate but limited," I said. "And if you give me their names I'll kill them.”

“That was a good day for me," Skulduggery said. "I didn't have to hit anyone. I didn't have to shoot anyone. I just sat around and talked to my good friend and partner, Valkyrie Cain.”

“Look at that butt! That's a Bond butt. Don't tell me you haven't noticed? You have to have a great butt to be Bond." She looked incredulous. "And you call yourself a Bond aficionado!""James has sensitive eyes," I said. "Think Pierce Brosnan. That's what gets the ladies." And me.~ (And me, too!) "Spy Candy”