“What the hell! Either you have to get a girlfriend or you will be considered a gay.”

“So, how is it that you don’t have a girlfriend?” I asked boldly.Joel shrugged.“Have you ever had a girlfriend?” There was no way that he’d never had a girlfriend.He shrugged again.“You’re not serious.”“You’re surprised?”“I’m sorry, do you own a mirror?”Joel laughed in that I’ll-never-understand-women kind of way. “I’ve never wanted one,” he admitted, though it seemed that there was more to it.“What? A mirror? Or a girlfriend?”He laughed again, even harder this time. “A girlfriend.”“Are you gay?” He smiled. “No, I’m not gay.”“Oh.” I blushed. Why was I being so nosy all of a sudden?”

“Are you on your own?""No. There are six people staring at me right now wondering who the hell i'm talking to."shit..."Really?" I gasp, panicked."Yes. Really. My girlfriend," he announces away from the phone.holy cow! "They probably all thought you were gay, you know.”

“credit, youre jewish, your best friend is black, and your girlfriend is a cheating whore. Even if I wore gay, I'd still have it better than you.”

“Hells yeah. You kidding? Gay men are hot.”

“You couldn't get a decent drink in either of them, for a start. And the boredom you got in Heaven was almost as bad as the excitement you got in Hell.”