“Gram chose that moment to walk by my room. I heard her footsteps pause and then she spoke. “If you two keep that up I’ll be a great-grandma. You best stop that now.”-Gram”

“Thank you sensei,” I crossed my arms over my chest as she locked up the door. Gram chuckled and said, “Oh Sophie, your sarcasm never ceases to amaze me.”

“She tapped her foot. “Sometimes I swear you’re your father except with lady parts. You act exactly like him!” -Gram to Sophie”

“Ten milligrams equals one centigram. Ten decigrams equals one gram. Ten grams equals one grampa.""Keep going... I can hardly wait to see what comes next...”

“She had hauled out Grandma O’Donnell’s crystal plates, the ones Gram claimed were hand-cut by our distant relatives in County Kerry during the potato famine. She also said Big Foot crashed her eighteenth birthday party.”

“Jiminy," says the old woman. The mothballs gleam with excitement and she claps her hands. "A wolf!" "Gram!" Siobhan glares across the room. She turns to me. "You'll have to excuse her. She's real old. Wasn't a lot integrating between the species back in her day."I pad over and put out a paw. "Pleased to meet you, madam."She blushes, the varicose veins in her cheeks swelling with blood. Instead of taking my paw to shake, however, she turns it over as if it's a piece of bruised fruit in a market. "Hmmm..." She pores over my palm, nodding like a fortune-teller. Her spectacles slide comically down the bridge of her nose, and when she looks up at me, her face is full of mock astonishment. "Oh, my! What big teeth you have!" She giggles and kicks her slippered feet."Gram!!The old elf claps her tiny hands. "I always wanted to say that!”