“Kids are more advanced these days. The teenage years now start at 11.”

“I must break out......start a new life...been here for years...might be getting into a rut...something a bit more exciting...more adventurous...something with more of a challenge...There's not much opportunity for self-advancement in toilets...”

“It is difficult for people of advanced years to start remembering they must die. It is best to form the habit while young.”

“Half the time your kids end up hating you for at least 5 of their teenage years[.] And don't ever expect anything so mundane as a thank you”

“He clenched his jaw and forced himself to even his tone. "No' necessarily. It's just that you'll be doing it three or four times a day.""With a man of your advanced years?"Advanced years? By God, I am going to throttle her.”

“I asked my dad once if his high school teachers began treating kids differently during Vietnam, when they knew some of their students would be drafted and sent to war. I was curious because for sure we’d started treating our military kids differently after 9/11. He just shrugged and changed the subject, like he always did. And that was okay with me. He’d go back and change a lot of things if he could; and like everyone else, I’d give anything to go back to the day before 9/11—but all we can do is move forward.”