“Remember, Peter: you are some hybrid of friend and hired help. You have latitude, but you can't get uppity.”
“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.”
“Remember, friends help you move. Good friends help you move a body. Best friends bring their own shovel...”
“It's like when you're on hold and a recorded voice comes on telling you how much the company values you as a customer. Really? Then maybe you should hire some more support people so I don't have to wait thirty minutes to get help.”
“Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others.”
“Getting help from a guy like you is like hiring a pyromaniac to fix the oil-burner.”