“My standards were, after all, abnormally high." - the fictional ghost of Hugh Hefner, lamenting on sex in the after-life.”

“It was like looking for a Natural Blonde at Hugh Hefner's”

“I had never seen so many cute men in one place in my life. But I could tell they were not for me. Russell was like the gay vampire Hugh Hefner, and this was the Playboy Mansion, with an emphasis on the "boy.”

“I’m not ogling him for myself. I’m ogling him for you. It was, after all, your sex life we were discussing. (Selena)Well, my sex life is just hunky-dory, and not the business of the people in this restaurant. (Grace)”

“In all my years of Ghost Hunting I have never been afraid, after all, a ghost is only a fellow human being in trouble”

“If God is dead, somebody is going to have to take his place. It will be megalomania or erotomania, the drive for power or the drive for pleasure, the clenched fist or the phallus, Hitler or Hugh Hefner.”