“I wear a solar radiation suit. The lights we have over our artificial fields simulate real sunlight, so if I were in there for too long, I’d get a sunburn just like if I was on a beach. I guess up on the Burn (that’s what we call the land) they had something called sunscreen, but then some dermatologist down here designed the solar radiation suits and said they were much more effective protection. Sometimes I want to smack him.”