“You're staring," Lana said."Yes. I am. I'm a teenage boy. Beautiful girls in wet underwear have a tendency to cause staring in teenage boys.”
“The single-biggest proof that the Dixie Chicks are Van Halen is their audience; they are singing to the same teenage boys, except those boys are now teenage girls. ”
“You have lived all these years and you're still a grumpy teenage boy. That must take effort.”
“And if anyone asks, you're Chinese. The boy had nodded. "Chinese," he whispered. "I'm Chinese." "And I," said the girl, "am the Queen of Spain." "In your dreams," said the boy. "In my dreams," said the girl, "I'm the King.”
“You’re a teenage boy. I have boobs. What part of the equation is missing?”
“(Yes teenage boys who are fine always cry on their mothers’ shoulders until they leave a snot trail.)”