“Spirituality has always felt to me as private as sexuality. We don't go waving our wieners all over the place and we shouldn't wave our gods around either.”

“Marriage felt like a fading American institution, as relevant to me as the Elks Club. Plus, I considered myself punk rock, and punk rockers don't believe in boring societal conventions like marriage. We prefer boring societal conventions like punk rock.”

“If I have any faith at all, I guess that's it. Faith in the small love that keeps our family together.”

“You keep your gods in your backyard and I'll keep my lack of God in mine.”

“Choose hope over fear.”

“I hope you die....P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.”

“The truth is I feel bad about calling you a whore. I don't know anything about your personal life; my judgment was based on nothing more than a general whorish vibe you give off.You look like you'd screw any squirrel that came your way. You look like you'd even screw the knothole in that tree where you live. But this is all speculation on my part, based on nothing more than your aforementioned whorish vibe and sleazy demeanor. Maybe I'm wrong about you. If so, I apologize.But I really don't think I am.”