“Hanging out with Sam or any two-year-old is basically one big suicide watch. Their mission is to find one new way after another of offing themselves - piss in an electric socket, lick a pit bull's nose, chase an ice cream truck into traffic - and your job as a parent is to step in before it happens.”

“Life is like an ice cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time. ”

“After she had licked the last white drop of the ice cream, she reached out her cone to Mrs. McKennet and said, “Here's your little horn back.”

“And we spend the rest of the evening getting very pissed and eating ice cream, as we always do when something good or bad happens to either one of us.”

“The job of every generation is to discover the flaws of the one that came before it. That's part of growing up, figuring out all the ways your parents and their friends are broken.”

“This is the new year the new you. You can pass through another year, coasting on cruise control. Or you can step out of your comfort zone, trying things you have never done before, & make 2012 as the year that you elevate from where you are & soar high. Make it happen!”