“From the get-go, my hair was programmed to fall out. One is grateful this so rarely happens with the pancreas or the eyeballs.”

“He gives me the hairy eyeball, and asks me to help him find his pancreas.”

“I would like at this moment to announce that I will be retiring from this program in two weeks' time because of poor ratings. Since this show is the only thing I had going for me in my life, I've decided to kill myself. I'm going to blow my brains out right on this program a week from today. So tune in next Tuesday. That should give the public relations people a week to promote the show. You ought to get a hell of a rating out of that. 50 share, easy.”

“Two hugs. Both I can’t get out of my mind. One was so quick I’m not even sure it happened, and the other was… Amazing. Incredible. Confusing. How can someone get so much from a hug?”

“I am grateful for the rare opportunities to look at my circumstances from a higher perspective, one detached from the dim outlook I normally insist on seeing. These periodic glimpses show me life's grandeur.”

“i miss you so much it's giving me a pain in my pancreas.”