“Living in this world will change you,” she confides. “It makes me value life. When a friend has a healthy baby, I don’t think it’s normal; I think it’s a fucking miracle.”

“It’s a good thing when you don’t dare do something if you don’t think it’s right. But it’s not good when you think something’s not right because you don’t dare do it.”

“Well, I guess it’s all in God’s hands anyway. He has a way of making things turn out,” Mattie asserted.“Yes, He does. Doesn’t He? Thank you for reminding me of that, Mattie.” She gave her friend a hug. “Sometimes it’s hard not to second guess the choices I’ve made.”“I know what you mean. When life brings changes, I think we tend to do that more.” Mattie wiped away a tear. “I miss the old life sometimes, but I know this is God’s will for me. And God’s will is always best, whether we realize it at the time or not.”

“I don’t think this is working out between us,” I told him. “You and I want different things. It’s not me, it’s you.”

“Mama, you don’t understand. It’s all a matter of ideas, and God is just one idea I don’t acept. It’s not important. I am not going out and commit crimes or be immoral because I don’t believe in God. I don’t even think about it. It’s just that I get so tired of Him getting credit for all the things the human race achieves through its own stubborn effort. There simply is no God! There is only Man, and it’s he who makes miracles!”

“You’ll leave me the second it gets too steep, and you’ll leave me with nothing – when I want you like I’ve never wanted anything in life. You’re all I think about, dream about. I get high and low and it’s not about you now, it’s not even about me anymore. I can’t sleep, can’t think, can’t concentrate worth shit anymore and it’s all because I want to be the fucking ‘one’ for you.”