“David Vitter is a perfect case-study to demonstrate that Louisiana voters lack brains.”

“It is the moral duty of every US voter to guarantee that Barack Hussein Obama is a one-term president.”

“Jersey Shore has killed more brain cells than alcohol, cocaine, and meth combined.”

“Why am I a socialist? Simple: Because I believe in freedom.”

“Love is my philosophy, and my philosophy is love.”

“My therapist told me that I over-analyze everything. I explained to him that he only thinks this because of his unhappy relationship with his mother.”

“The world would be a far better place if more people listened to the wisdom of Hawkeye Pierce.”