“My therapist told me that I over-analyze everything. I explained to him that he only thinks this because of his unhappy relationship with his mother.”

“Obama's plan for "change": Let's do everything Bush did, only with more suck! Because it just didn't suck badly enough the first time!”

“Can I change the world? Only my piece of it.”

“Why am I a socialist? Simple: Because I believe in freedom.”

“I think we can all agree that the official language of the United States should be Latin.”

“Why is it acceptable to do such horrible things in the name of staying alive? Would it not have been better had I died with my innocence intact?”

“Barack Obama is an even worse president than George W. Bush, because an evil bastard who knows what he's doing is far more dangerous than an evil bastard who doesn't have a clue.”