“Presidents are not elected anymore; they are hired.”

“It is the moral duty of every US voter to guarantee that Barack Hussein Obama is a one-term president.”

“Barack Obama is an even worse president than George W. Bush, because an evil bastard who knows what he's doing is far more dangerous than an evil bastard who doesn't have a clue.”

“Why am I a socialist? Simple: Because I believe in freedom.”

“Love is my philosophy, and my philosophy is love.”

“My therapist told me that I over-analyze everything. I explained to him that he only thinks this because of his unhappy relationship with his mother.”

“The world would be a far better place if more people listened to the wisdom of Hawkeye Pierce.”