“Because after the haze of not being kissed cleared I was forced to face the facts that:1. Jack was a very bad guy.2. Jack had threatened Fred.3. Just thinking that he was going to kiss me made me tingly everywhere4. In a way no other guy had5. And that was without our mouths even touching6. Which meant that7. If they did8. Wooohoo baby!9. Except that it did not matter10. At all11. Because he was plotting against fred12. And I was complicit in whatever he planned if I didn't tell Mr. Curtis13. And I was trapped in a boat with a woman singing showtunes.”

“Are you wearing space pants?" Miranda asked him."What?"How did it end? oh, right. "Because your butt is fine."He gazed at her in that way he had like he was measuring her for straitjacket. "I think-" he started, then stopped and seemed to be having trouble talking. Cleared his throat three times before saying, "I think the line is 'because your butt is out of this world.""Oh. That makes a lot more sense. I can see that. See, I read this book about how to get guys to like you and they said it was a line that never failed but i got interrupted in the middle and the line before it was about china-not the country, the kind you eat off of-and that is where the fine part was but i must have gotten them confused. He just kept staring at her.”

“That kiss you gave me was the hottest kiss i've ever had. I pulled away because i was afraid i wouldn't be able to stop myself from ripping off your clothes. And that didn't seem like the right way to end a first date. I didn't want you to think that was all i was interested in."She stared at him. There was silence again, but this time she didn't worry about how long it went on."Why didn't you tell me?" She said finally."I tried to, but every time i saw you afterward you disappeared. I got the feeling you were avoiding me.""i didn't want things to be awkward.""Yeah, there was nothing awkward about you hiding behind a plant when i came into the dining hall at lunch on wednesday.""I wasn't hiding. I was, um, breathing. You know, oxygen. From the plant. Very oxygenated, that air is.""Of course. I should have thought of that.""It's a healthy thing. Not many people know about it.”

“Oh well, it’s over for you. Call the code at 2:03 p.m.”My eyes widened in shock. “That’s what they say when someone dies.”“Exactly.” He nodded. “Woman have fallen in love with me after staring like that for only thirty seconds andI think you just took a full minute. You’re doomed.”

“YES. BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I ROLL. LIKE A SUAVE THING. In fact, from here on, please forward my mail to 1 Suave Hill, Suave Boulevard, Suavieland, Planet of She's-So-Smooth-I-Can't-Believe-She's-Not-Butter.”

“I didn't mean to interupt you if you were looking for your friends Miss--''Callihan,' but you can call my Jasmine. Or Jas.' Or Snookums. Honeybunch. Hotsie Totsie Cowgirl. My Little--'It's nice to meet you Jasmine, I'm Jack.”

“Which left me with the cheery knowledge that my father would wan tto spend time with me even if i were a cold, stiff corpse. not every daughter can say that, i bet!”